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This discussion happened AFTER we had worked together for about 6 weeks. Out of the 6 weeks, at least three of the weeks were used teaching the mastery of this very powerful concept.

It is not that the concept can be argued with. It works time and time again IF:

We remain consistent
We remain consistent
We remain consistent

Did I mention…consistent?

Oh yea, the key is to notice where you attention consistently goes.

And in many ways, I view my role to be one of “coaching” you to stay attuned to the fundamentals first…THEN you can turn your attention to other aspects.

And one final comment: The most important habits are always built by attention to the long term effects…not to the short term desires.

So here again, our attention needs to be focused on the long term effects of our daily choices. Our resolve must be to keep our eyes on this target…not the target that feels easiest or most comfortable.

If we do that…we will wander astray very quickly.

Twins Mom – This is SO true! I have worked very hard at thinking positively with my children who are two and four. It is nice when they say to me, “Take a deep breath” or “There’s a solution to every problem.” It makes all the hard work worth it! Good for you AND your son!

One of my 6 yr old twins was always coming up with a “problem” . “I have a problem – I have Boy Scouts tonite and I also have to do my homework” – that type of thing. So we’ve been spending time with him figuring out ways to come up with solutions and it’s really worked great. The last couple of days, he catches himself starting to talk about a problem and then he’ll say “I have a solution” and he’s been really proud of himself. I don’t even think he knows he’s turned a negative into a positive.

It’s been great to see him realize he can usually solve his own “problem”.

A couple of other thoughts on parenting and happiness:

I see a lot of parents trying to give their kids everything to make them happy… Toys, clothing, extravagant vacations, elaborate birthday parties, incredible summer camps… The list could go on! I have to admit that I’m not totally innocent in the “stuff” category, but even feeling that I’m overly indulgent every once in a while, I see people giving their kids WAY more and have to question it. If kids have everything now, what is there to look forward to in the future?

On the flip side of that , I see parents who are reluctant to set limits, because they don’t want to make their kids unhappy by not giving them something the want, or by restricting them in some way. I think this creates out-of-control kids, who start to learn that they can push mom and dad’s buttons and demand more! I also think that kids LIKE reasonable limits. They want to feel secure and protected and know that someone cares about them enough to say “no” once in a while. I see it all the time in kids who are out of control and unruly at home, but behave nicely in school for teachers who set limits and require that kids follow the rules. Those kids respect their teachers, and seem have a healthier relationship with them, than they have at home.