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A wonderful school psychologist offered me some free advice before we went on a long road trip to Florida – Mom was prepared with a “bag of tricks” that the kids knew I had and which was all under my control! Whenever they were really good for an hour or longer, I pulled something out and rewarded them for their “good” behavior. Dollar store items were great! The other thing we did was to “practice” what would happen if they acted up in the car. We were very firm for a few weeks before we left, and we had a consequence we followed through with ahead of time. It was safe but uncomfortable. If the backseat offense did not end, my husband and I would pull over at a safe spot, and calmly get the offending child out of the car and put them in “time out”. We would wait the amount of time required, outside of the car, and extend it if the behavior would not end. They both got the message, in advance! My daughter was three at the time of our “training”. We had all kinds of rewards planned along the way, too.

Having “been there” with young children traveling, I am much more sensitive to parents with unruly children. Most people without their own personal experiences will probably never “get it”. Don’t expect them to. I remember traveling with my daughter when she was 2 1/2. I was so prepared in my airplane seat. She was constantly amused, and very “busy” during the flight. She finally fell asleep as we were landing. I commented to the young woman who sat next to me, thanking her for her patience. In an exasperated voice and unkind tone, she remarked that this was the “worst flight” she had ever been on because of my daughter. I was shocked! After an hour of reviewing all that had happened, I started to laugh. Imagine if my daughter was REALLY misbehaving, that woman had no idea how hard I had worked, planned, and felt so successful – and in one short moment, she blew me away. I moved on, feeling sorry for her limited view of the gift of children and the moments she will never cherish in her life!

As someone who was a consultant for years and flew a minimum of two flights a week for over seven years, I’d have to say that I doubt that this was a knee-jerk reaction on the part of the airline or the flight attendants who were present. I’m sure they thought about it before they asked the family to leave the airplane. Kids HORRIBLY misbehave on airplanes and in airports daily without anyone getting any kind of reaction from the airline. Therefore, I have to think that this was an extreme situation if the airline employees felt they needed to take action.

What I have read is that the flight was already delayed 15 minutes. The airline has a business to run. They need to stay on schedule, and they have to consider all the other passengers as well. If in 15 minutes time the parents couldn’t get their child calmed down enough to get her buckled into her seat, what’s the airline’s alternative? A three year old is required to be in her own seat for safety reasons; A parent isn’t allowed to hold the child in his/her lap… But it sounds like that wasn’t an option for the parents either.

I have been in many airplanes, restaurants, stores, and plenty of other public places where a child is acting badly and disturbing other customers. I’m sure that everyone reading this can think of plenty of times when that has been the case for them too. The business management and other employees simply do not react. There’s plenty of reasons for this, but the bottom line is probably that they’re trying to treat all customers equally and also refrain from getting involved. Again, this leads me to believe that the situation on the airline in Florida had to be very extreme for the airline to take action.

I’m not saying that what the airline did was right, nor was it wrong. I don’t have enough information to make that assessment. But I am saying that I’ll bet they felt like they had to do something in order to put the situation behind them and get back to their schedule, and make sure other passengers were receiving the service that they paid for.

As for the suggestion to get in the face of a crying baby and mimic the crying… I’d have to offer up a big, huge NO! That might shock a child into stopping, but in the long run what are you teaching that child? It sounds disrepectful, mean, rude, and insulting, and borders on abusive — in my opinion. I’m a fairly stern disciplinarian, but I consider that to be over the top. It’s not discipline. Discipline is not supposed to be punishment. It’s supposed to TEACH.

And as a final note, I just want to say that I think that it’s too bad that this incident has drawn so much attention. First, because that poor family must be very, very embarrassed. Whether they are not the greatest parents or just the victims of a huge misunderstanding, I’m sure they’re humiliated beyond belief and that’s something they’re going to have to live with for a long time until the feeling wears off. And secondly, this seems to be something that has struck a chord with so many people. People are talking about it because it’s similar to something that we’ve all experienced from time to time. Whether we’re out shopping, trying to enjoy a meal out in a restaurant, watch a movie in a theater with our kids, sit on an airplane, or many other scenarios, we’ve all been bugged by kids who are ill-behaved and parents who won’t parent them. It’s becoming a national epidemic, and I think it’s why this story has gotten so much attention. Parenting is becoming a lost “art” (for lack of a better term). Based on the public reaction to this story, I’d say that it’s impacting us all.